THE QUEST FOR CONFIDENCE - PART #2

The development of confidence (and everything else self-defense training has to offer) is found in the TRAINING PROCESS. You won't build confidence by reading about it or by sitting in front of a mirror and chanting affirmations about how confident you are!

Legitimate confidence requires action. You are not defined by what you want, by what you think or by what you know. You are defined only by what you do. You ARE what you do on a consistent basis.

"Nothing worthwhile comes easily. Half effort does not produce half results, it produces no results. Work, continuous work and hard work, is the only way to accomplish results that last." Hamilton Holt

Training is the only way to deliberately and systematically improve how you feel about yourself and your competence. At the risk of oversimplifying what far too many people over- complicate, here is a self-defense training program that will make a positive impact on your self-confidence:

1. Impress yourself
2. Lift Stuff
3. Hit Stuff
4. Get Hit
5. Toughen up with round work
6. Be Consistent

1. IMPRESS YOURSELF

"There is nothing noble in feeling superior (or inferior) to another person. True nobility is in being superior to your former self." Hindu Proverb

The most confidence-eroding practice you can contaminate your training efforts with is comparing yourself to others. If you train to please, impress, measure up to, keep up with, or surpass other people, your confidence becomes fragile and outside of your control.

You are unique; with your own motives, strengths, weaknesses, flaws, aptitudes and genetics. Compare yourself to yourself and you can keep moving in the right direction.

It's fine to strive for a black belt or to test yourself in competition as long as you don't get hung up on measuring your results against the results of someone else. Don't lose sight of the fact that training is a process to take you, at your own pace, from where you are now to where you want to be. Keep track of YOUR results. They are valuable feedback in determining if what you are doing is working or if you should modify your approach.

2. LIFT STUFF

There isn't a better, faster or more efficient way to improve your physique and athletic performance than resistance training (lifting weights). If you aren't doing resistance training, you haven't scratched the surface of your potential. I guarantee that if you integrate regular, intelligent weight training into your self-defense program, you will improve your confidence.

Here's why:

• A stronger fighter is a better fighter. Strong muscles are faster, more resilient and generate more power. You'll gain confidence in your ability to hit hard, kick hard, grapple better and out muscle an opponent.

• Proper resistance training builds a sense of resilience and decreases the real and perceived potential for injury. This can decrease your fear of being hit and "mixing it up" with an assailant.

• Dedicating yourself to regular workouts builds self- discipline and provides a sense of stability and control in your life.

• Proper weight training will make positive changes in your physique, posture and the way you move. This not only improves how you feel about yourself but reduces the likelihood that you will be targeted as a victim. (see the article: "Why is Everybody Always Picking On Me?" at http://www.protectivestrategies.com)

Note: I am in the process of designing a self-defense specific resistance training program to enhance fight-related performance and resilience.

3. HIT THINGS

In my article "There's Nothing Like A Swift Kick To The Bag," I mention the concept of "Hit Psychology." I use this term to describe your mental and emotional comfort with hitting and being hit.

Many people doubt their ability to hit hard. This inhibits their confidence in a combative situation. That's not good! Research tells us that people in stressful situations won't attempt techniques that they lack confidence in. A significant part of your training should include hitting and kicking various apparatus on a regular basis.

I'm a big advocate of hitting things. Impact work, that involves striking bags, pads and partners, is the only way to build legitimate confidence in your ability to protect yourself.

This could include hitting a heavy bag, boxer's focus mitts, kickboxer's Thai pads, etc. You need to train smart and moderate your impact work to avoid injuries but I can tell you this... when you can fold a 100 lb. heavy bag with a solid roundhouse or right cross, your confidence will soar!

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4. GET HIT

The second part of "Hit Psychology" is coming to terms with the idea of being hit. I wrote an article about this on the Protective Strategies web site called, "Reach Out And Punch Someone."

For many people, the thought of being slugged, kicked or taken to the ground is terrifying. What do you think a perception like that will do to your confidence in a confrontation?

Proper training can "inoculate" you to the fear of being hit. Start off with partner drills that are simple, low-intensity and non-threatening. Keep it easy and fun.

Train on the threshold of your comfort zone and gradually increase the intensity. If you are never getting hit, speed up. If you're getting hit all the time, slow down and figure out why. The goal of this training is to reduce your fear of being hit and build confidence.

Many self-defense instructors believe that they should scare the shit out of their students by throwing them into intense, frightening training scenarios.

"Face your fear and it loses it's power over you," they think. They believe that they are helping their students cope with the "reality" of combat and preparing them to perform effectively in a real confrontation. THEY ARE WRONG!

I don't advocate all-out, knock-down, drag-out, nose-flattening, migraine-causing sparring sessions. There are easier roads to phobias, nose jobs and brain damage! Save your "power hitting" for pads and bags and real-life bad guys. Even pro fighters save their all out efforts for competition, not training.

I also include grappling in this category. You need to roll around on the ground with a training partner if you want to inoculate yourself to the fear of being taken to the ground.

5. TOUGHEN UP WITH ROUND WORK

A real fight is a taxing, demanding, exhausting athletic event. You already know that. Many people, even those who are technically "skilful," lack confidence because they don't know if they have what it takes to keep going until the job gets done.

Training that doesn't tax your athletic energy systems (aerobic, anaerobic, lactic threshold etc.) will not develop confidence. A fight isn't a marathon, it's a sprint. It's an intense, all out effort to terminate the encounter or escape from it. You won't become a better sprinter by jogging.

This is why many fighters and self-defense students train in rounds. That means alternating two or three minute periods of intense activity with shorter (usually one minute) periods of recovery.

I have to warn you though, this training is not for "sissies." It requires not only self-discipline but a solid foundation of fitness and skill development. If you are thinking of conducting this training, refer to my disclaimer page at http://www.protectivestrategies.com/disclaimer.html

Sport psychology research indicates that this type of interval or "round-style" training can enhance mental toughness as well. By training the body with "waves" of stress and recovery, you can enhance your cardio vascular health, muscle stamina, emotional toughness, and even your immune system.

However, you need to learn how to balance stress and recovery cycles both within your workouts and between one workout and the next.

An excellent book on how to use interval training to build mental toughness is, "Toughness Training For Life," by James E. Loeher Ph.D.

In his classic book, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," self-help guru, Stephen Covey writes...

(There are) "... two ways to put ourselves in control of our lives immediately. We can make a promise - and keep it. Or we can set a goal - and work to achieve it. As we make and keep commitments, even small commitments, we begin to establish an inner integrity that gives us the awareness of self-control and the courage and strength to accept more of the responsibility for our own lives. By making and keeping promises to ourselves and others, little by little, our honor becomes greater than our moods.

Life is a process of constant change. Its impossible to control all of the events that shape our lives. We can only control ourselves.

Confidence lies in our perceived control over our circumstances. In the case of self-defense, it's influencing the outcome of a threatening situation.

By dedicating time and energy to self-defense training on a consistent basis, you gain stability in your life. No matter what else might be going on, there is stability to be found in your training. The chaos of life becomes more manageable.

Consider training a promise that you make to yourself. Keep it on a consistent basis, day after day, whether you feel like it or not and your confidence will grow. Start small, start easy but be consistent and you'll be amazed with what you can accomplish.

WRAP UP & REVIEW

In summary, here's an overview of my "Confidence Building Battle Plan:"

1. Impress yourself

Compare yourself to yourself. Set your own goals and the standards in achieving them. Get clear on where you are, what you want, why you want it and how to proceed. (the Ultimate Self-Defense Success Formula" is a good place to start.)

2. Lift Stuff

Combine relevant strength training exercises with your self- defense skills development.

3. Hit Stuff

Learn to hit by striking a variety of striking apparatus: heavy bag, focus mitts, Thai pads etc.

4. Get Hit

Incorporate sparring and partner work into your training in the form of low-stress, non-threatening drills. Gradually increase the difficulty and intensity as you become more comfortable and skilled.

5. Toughen up with round work

Once you establish a good fitness and skills foundation, incorporate intense 2-3 minute rounds of activity interspersed with 1 minute rest periods.

6. Be Consistent

Promise yourself to train consistently and stick to it. Keeping that promise to yourself provides a sense of stability and control in your life.

Remember that the focus of this battle plan is in the development of confidence. If you build these activities into a consistent self-defense training process you will achieve noticeable improvements in your physical, mental and emotional strength, resilience and confidence. Let me know how you make out!

Randy LaHaie is the president of Protective Strategies and has been teaching reality-based self-defense for over 30 years. He is the author of several "Toughen Up Combative Training Guides" (www.ToughenUp.com) Subscribe to his Free Self-Defense Newsletter at www.ProtectiveStrategies.com

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Copyright © 2006 by Randy LaHaie. All rights reserved.